When you take your own advice, strange things can happen.  Early this year I started the mammoth task of changing my life.  I had identified the need and what I was lacking and was poised to find out my true purpose when something truly monumental happened.

I started to really analyse my life from the outside.  Rather than looking inwards to how I was feeling, I studied my entire life and feelings as if I was watching someone else.  And in doing this rather odd thing, I discovered some really interesting things about myself.  And then I started to change.

I gave up a lot.  Random television was bringing me no joy so I stopped watching it.  I now watch a very small number of shows that either interest me or give me some other benefit.

I stopped blaming other people for much of my life.  I gave up a lot of negative thoughts and old baggage and became much happier and more stable as a result.  This had the odd effect of releasing a lot of old anger and making me a nicer person to be around.  As such I have a stronger relationship with a number of people and am able to better cope with their shit when it happens.

I put on indefinite hold a number of projects that ranged from ’slightly niggling’ to ‘full blown anxiety’ over their incomplete status.  I packed up books and projects and hid them in a cupboard.  I may go back to them one day; I may not.  It doesn’t matter.

I threw out everything that I didn’t need and could easily replace.  I put everything irreplaceable but not currently useful away so I didn’t see it.  As a result, my home office space has reduced from a whole room to a small desk in the corner of the spare room.

But possibly the most amazing thing to come from this unexpected purging of my life is a new sense of adventure.  The biggest thing I gave up was my fear.  My fear of the unknown, my fear of failure and my fear of looking like a complete idiot.  And as a result, some amazing things have happened to me over the past six months that wouldn’t have otherwise come my way.  I have a number of new ventures opening up to me and my life is heading in so many new directions, both professionally and personally.  That isn’t to say that I don’t still have fear.  Fear can be very healthy and certainly can stop you from doing some really stupid things.  But it can also cripple you and stop you from getting what you want and realising your potential.

I never did get around to working out my life’s purpose, but it is still on my list.  For now though…well I’m enjoying the ride regardless of the destination.

Posted by Quadrant IV under Productivity
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